Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
