She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
