One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
