do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So vagazzling was a success
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
