We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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