He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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