I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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