singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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