I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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