dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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