is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
