I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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