How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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