a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
