Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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