he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
