Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
