It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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