I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar