kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.