Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.