dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.