She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.