break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
as a side note pls kill me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Shame is for Republicans.
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