ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
