yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
