in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
