I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize