So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
