I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
