that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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