You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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