pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
