He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
