the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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