I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My vagina is officially offended.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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