you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
