I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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