stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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