I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
