All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
