they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
