dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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