Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
