cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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