Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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