Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
