i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
