i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize