I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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