she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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