What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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