Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
