My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
