Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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