I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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