Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
