im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
