I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So squirting runs in the family.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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