i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
