is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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