Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
