It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
