i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
